A very belated Happy New Year! I'm late sending this out because 2024 has been quite intense: recovering from an extended road trip and music festival for New Year's Eve, moving out of San Diego, getting sick, further spontaneous travel along the California coast and Bay Area, a new full-time job, Michigan Wolverines winning the college football championship, and a bachelor party in Nashville followed by crippling snow and cold weather! This year I'm trying something new; I set up a blog last summer to replace the plethora of individual emails of the past. I also hope to publish more of my past and future writing publicly here. Anyway, I’m continuing the tradition of taking stock of the past year to reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly and share critical updates with you. 

A year ago, when I sat down and reflected on 2022, uncertainty was on the horizon. I entered 2023 with a sense of purpose but found myself unprepared for all the unexpected turns. Simply put, 2023 was a humbling year full of surprises, uncertainties, and transitions - an opportunity to pause, reflect, and embrace all that life has to offer. This year underscored the importance of intention and decisive action in charting the path to desired destinations. I explored new places and revisited familiar ones. Old bonds were rekindled, and strangers blossomed into new friends, while others drifted into memory, leaving their marks. 2023 taught me while I could love again, sometimes love is not enough to sustain a shared path. Through the highs and lows, I rediscovered strength in vulnerability and appreciated the beauty of transient moments. I saw the best and worst of myself and learned that life unfolds in the present, not in some distant future. To everyone who's touched my life this year – thank you for enriching my time. Here’s to another year of growth, learning, and the endless pursuit of moments that make life truly meaningful. But first, let’s dive in.

Personal Transformation & Discovery

In the summer of 2022, I chose San Diego to recalibrate from the burnout of the pandemic years, never intending it to be a long-term stay. I thoroughly enjoyed my time in San Diego but it felt too relaxing and career growth felt stifled. The plan for 2023 was clear – end my lease in July, visit India briefly, then embark on a 5-month journey through Europe with RemoteYear (Istanbul, Athens, Split, Milan, and Valencia), and finally end the year with a move to a larger city like NYC or LA in 2024. However, life had other plans. 

Unexpectedly meeting someone special in February led me to cancel travel plans by April and consider a future of settling in Southern California. But as unexpectedly as this relationship began, its abrupt end in late September left me shocked and grappling with the loss of a shared future I had just begun to envision. The timing was particularly challenging; being laid off two weeks prior added to the complexity of my emotional state and strain on the relationship. While the ending has been challenging to process, the experience reinforced active communication and prioritizing the present over some imagined future. Now, nearly four months later, I can appreciate the growth these experiences fostered. Life's encounters, however fleeting, can leave profound impacts, and sometimes for better or worse, the absence of closure can be a pathway to deeper self-understanding. Much of this understanding is detailed in a blog post I'm yet to publish, but with time, I hope to find the comfort to share it.

Travel was a big theme in the year, especially in the last quarter since I had more free time on my hands post-breakup and post-layoff. According to my Nomadlist profile, I only spent 57% of the year in San Diego. I added three new countries this past year, and highlights included a sibling bonding trip to India, Switzerland, and Italy with my younger sister and a last-minute trip to Colombia. I thoroughly enjoyed my time in South America and had it not been for a job interview requiring my return, I was hoping to continue onwards to Peru, Chile, and Brazil. Last year I also attended my first music festival, Electric Daisy Carnival (EDC Las Vegas), and by year's end, it proved to be the start of more festivals to come. I spent some quality time in nature as well, which is always an opportunity for spiritual rejuvenation. I also spent 10% of the time in 2023 at my parent's home (the most since 2020); as I age and my relationship with my parents evolves, I cherish the opportunities to visit them throughout the year. The home-cooked meals are also great, too!

Through the highs and the lows, I was quite frustrated at times with my inability to process life changes quickly. Like an impatient child, I learned the hard way that things unfortunately take time. I need to just let things happen and appreciate each step forward, no matter how small. Patience is a virtue that is new to me, I guess. 

Professional Evolution 

This year brought significant changes and lessons in my professional life. After almost three years at Whisker, I left due to a plateau in growth, a diminishing company culture, and increasing bureaucratic hurdles. My departure was less about moving towards something new and more about moving away from what no longer served me.

I joined an ad-tech startup in the music industry, attracted by its promising technology and the founder and product manager duo. Initially, I was excited to be the first engineer on a small but dynamic team. However, as time went on it became apparent I had been misled in the hiring process. The company faced numerous challenges – money issues, communication breakdowns, and a constantly shifting technical direction. Eventually, my journey there ended with a non-disclosure agreement and an asterisk on my resume. It was a stark reminder of the volatility inherent in early-stage startups, especially during a global tech downturn.

The layoff was a catalyst for much-needed redirection; it taught me the crucial lesson of aligning personal values with professional goals like culture fit, mission alignment, and growth trajectory. In the wake of this upheaval, a career design workshop helped me realize my disconnection from meaningful problem-solving work in engineering. In November I launched a part-time product and software consulting business which grew with the support of former colleagues and new clients. I can use my skillset for impact and despite starting a new full-time job, I hope to continue this rewarding work on the side. In essence, 2023 reminded me of the value of resilience and adaptability and the importance of steering my career with intention and purpose.  

Lessons Learned

Memento Vivere
Most of you know that the phrase memento mori is dear to me, reminding me of life's impermanence and inspiring me to strive for more. However, as the year progressed, the philosophy of memento vivere – “remember to live” – gained prominence. This mindset shift taught me to cherish the present, accept life's pains, and find strength in resilience and self-trust amidst uncertainties. A good life is about the ups and the downs.

Embrace serendipity but also practice detachment
The past year was marked by serendipitous encounters that profoundly impacted my life. There is a certain beauty in talking to strangers and the unexpected joys it can bring. Meeting my ex-partner on a night out, forming a key business partnership over a shared admiration for a Porsche in a Costco parking lot, or canceling a trip to Canada leading to new adventures in South America. On the flip side, while many great things happened in 2023, my attachment to specific outcomes sometimes blinded me. Having rigid expectations and plans detracts from the present day, life is lived in the now. When those plans don’t come to fruition, there is a lot of self-inflicted turmoil. It's about staying alert, accepting change, and understanding that great things can still happen when I let go. I'm learning to stay awake at the wheel of life and remain open to the twists and turns it brings. 

Live intentionally and you have more power than you think
When James Clear eloquently said, "Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become", it resonated deeply with my experience particularly when I rediscovered an old offer letter for a Detroit condo during a year-end cleanup. Almost three years later that paper showed me the impact of intentional choices. Opting out of the condo purchase in 2021 was about saying no to Detroit and actively choosing to embrace change, adventure, and the unknown which ultimately led me to San Diego. Fast forward to 2023 and whether it was joining a high-risk startup or embarking on a new relationship, each choice, though resulting in unforeseen outcomes, was a deliberate action willingly taken on my part. These choices reflect the agency I have in crafting my life and are a reminder to be more intentional in the actions I take as they build up in small ways to larger outcomes.

Acknowledge the privilege and practice gratitude
This year I started practicing gratitude as (an almost) daily habit and it seemed silly at first but shifted my perspective. I also have to acknowledge my privilege that I have found some economic security to live life without financial stress even in the downturns. Last year, a four-month break from full-time work was only possible with an emergency fund, strong investment portfolio returns, and if I needed it, the support of family and friends. During this time I was able to reflect on my spending habits and reassess my lifestyle choices.

It’s okay to adjust long-term goals
As I am less than 1,000 days away from 30 (a sobering thought), the long-term goals I set a decade ago are coming into sharper focus. Buying land, building an off-grid property, having X net worth, finding an equally ambitious partner, visiting 30 countries, having a PhD, climbing one of the Seven Sisters, etc. While these goals are great I am also learning to harmonize the ambitions with what I want today vs. what I wrote down all those years ago. 

The most important relationship I have is with myself
Two years ago, I emphasized the importance of "being kind to myself" and now that theme evolves further into "being my own best friend". Recognizing that I am my most constant companion I need to prioritize myself, sometimes over others. This doesn't imply being unkind; rather, it's about the freedom to respectfully decline last-minute invitations, invest time in my hobbies, and place my needs at the forefront at times. Being my best friend also means doing the hard things: committing to the morning run and not hitting the snooze button, adjusting my diet to match my goals, and prioritizing mental health.

Looking forward to 2024 

I carry forward the lessons learned from the past year, aiming to approach life more strategically while remaining open to new opportunities. My focus is to ground my actions in core values of growth, wisdom, courage, and compassion, rather than being driven by emotion. Accepting that I don't have all the answers, I'm prepared to face discomfort and grow from these experiences, with a little more wisdom and a little less naivety. 

As 2024 unfolds, it feels like both the end of an era and the start of a new one! I am blessed to have a lot of optionality as I figure out the important questions, all while a storage unit in Southern California holds my belongings - a symbolic pause as I deliberate my next steps. While I embraced the idea of settling in Los Angeles at the end of 2023, I like being on the move and there are still places I want to see before committing to another lease. A key challenge for me is striking the right balance between the lifestyle of high-cost cities, the freedom of a nomadic lifestyle, and making sacrifices for long-term objectives (like buying a house). Maybe I’m overthinking it but these choices are more than location preferences; they will shape the kind of life I lead in the years ahead.

Life's big questions – career paths, personal relationships, plans – can sometimes be overwhelming, especially in contrast to some of my peers. It's hard not to compare when many friends are progressing through grad school, embarking on careers as lawyers or doctors, getting married, buying homes, and in some cases having kids. These more linear trajectories sometimes feel like societal pressure right before I hop on the next flight or arrive to some new place. Navigating these pressures requires being intentional and trusting myself to stay true to my path. No matter which path I take, continuing to embrace serendipity will be pivotal in 2024. Last year taught me the value of unexpected encounters and the joy they can bring. I'm committed to making intentional choices, fully appreciating the present, and welcoming life's unpredictability with open arms. I remain open to revisiting plans like RemoteYear, which I put on hold last year.  

Lastly, I am also looking forward to seeing the people who matter to me and making intentional efforts to connect with friends and family. In our busy, fast-paced world it can be a challenge to maintain connections, especially over time zones and distance but I'm committed to it. Whether it's attending weddings and other events, planning travel together, or simply checking in with loved ones, I'm so thankful for the depth and richness all the connections add to my life.

Here’s to hoping my next annual update is on schedule. I hope you had a great year ahead!