Slowing Down

A Familiar Place

I pull into the soccer complex parking lot, the tires drumming over the gravel aggregate. The sun has just dipped over the horizon and the floodlights are now on. During the 2014 World Cup, I fell in love with the beautiful game here, learning to play the sport for the first time that summer. In the distance, I hear the muffled shouts of a group playing pickup. To my right, a group of youth soccer players are packing up after practice. It’s calm and quiet as the chilly wind blows over—very peaceful.

This is a contrast to just three weeks ago, like someone just hit the mute button. As I detailed in my last post, life threw me a curveball - I canceled the move to Los Angeles, ending a lease before it even started. I instead moved everything to storage, leaving behind a potential future in California with no firm plans for what was next. After my friend’s bachelor party in Nashville, I drove down to my hometown—Montgomery, Alabama. My mom is visiting India for an extended trip, so I am house-sitting and spending time with my younger sister and dad for the next five weeks—a total of eight weeks to relish in the quiet and calm, to figure out what is next.

Slowing Down to Speed Up

I often think of the paradoxical phrase “slow is steady, and steady is fast,” attributed to the elite US Navy SEALs. From a military context to everyday civilian life, this principle ensures accuracy, consistency, and a controlled pace to getting things done, being conscious enough, setting the right mindset, and being present with the right intention—like having proper form when bodybuilding instead of obsessing over volume and reps. Approaching tasks more thoughtfully means being aware of distractions, healing any problems, and eliminating the unimportant things that aren’t central to the mission. Old relationships, resentments, resistance. 

I will be honest; I’ve never been one to slow down. I like the high intensity, whether at work or in personal life. However, several weeks in, slowing down has allowed me to prioritize goals and desires and plan outcomes. Being deliberate is good, and over the long term, probably a better outcome. I already feel confident about my next steps, both personally and professionally. This time at home has also granted me the opportunity to reconnect with old friends I haven’t seen in years. Some people have married, even started families. Some haven’t changed one bit, while others have completely reinvented themselves.  

Slowing down has also given me time to reevaluate what truly motivates me. The last time life felt like it was on autopilot, I left Michigan. But that wasn’t a motivation towards something; it was a motivation away from something. I used to think location played a great part in happiness and success, and I do think it’s a factor, but as I go through this change and upheaval—maybe it’s not. Now’s the time to sit and figure out what I am resisting and running away from and find something to move towards.

Coming full circle

Being back at this soccer complex is a mirror to reflect the last ten years, or as Steve Jobs said, to “connect the dots” only by looking back. Thousands of days, hundreds of thousands of miles, a plethora of experiences and challenges, separate me from then and now. During the summer of 2014, I experienced a similar feeling of uncertainty. Which college would I attend, what would be my career, who would be my senior prom date? While much remains uncertain today, I feel pretty content with the last ten years. Oftentimes I am so focused on setting a high bar that I forget to see how far I have progressed. Here I am—trying something new and risky in my career, no relationship, left my life behind in California; I am hitting the reset button.

Like the soccer stadium, the lake near my house is also another landmark that has stood still through the past decade. It’s funny how these things go; it feels like life comes full circle. When I was younger, I would go walk around an artificial lake near my house; it was my quiet place to escape with my thoughts. Now I go to Colorado and Europe to visit alpine lakes and immerse myself in nature and to escape the chaos and noise. Places I dreamed of going to, like the American West—the Carlsbad Caverns, White Sands, Grand Canyon, Big Sur—I’ve done it all now, and here I am back at this lake. It speaks volumes louder than all the vistas I have seen in the last ten years; it’s a mirror reflecting the past decade and prompting me to not only think about how far I have come but also how much further I can still go.

The past decade gives me hope for the next one.  The vector of life will always go on, and while it’s easy to get caught up in the noise and feel great about going 100 miles per hour, it’s equally, if not more, important to slow down and recalibrate to ensure the right direction as well.